This month's PMS

First and foremost, which is an extremely redundant phrase, I think that PMS is a real thing.

There is no logical reason for me to literally have been rolling around on the bed, pounding my fists on the mattress, grinding my teeth, and saying, "I'm never going to amount to anything! I'm an elephant with no neck and old lady boobs! How am I supposed I be vegan when all I want are pizza an ice cream?!?"

My poor husband is always so upset, because he never seems I say the right thing to make me feel better. In reality, there is nothing he could say that would even come close to being called "the right thing". Some kind of awful hormone just tells me I hate everyone and everything in the entire world and that I'm destined to be miserable.

And then my mood swings and all I want to do is nibble on hubby's arms, laugh at everything, conquer all obstacles in one swift movement, and plant a tree in my urban backyard for every sheet of paper I've ever thrown in the garbage instead of recycling it.

And then of course, there is sleep mode where I'm cranky as shit because all I want to do is sleep while simultaneously not being able to let go of the fact that sleeping will prevent me from accomplishing anything. All of this happens while I click refresh on Facebook and Gmail until my eyeballs feel like I've dipped them in a glue pot.

Sometimes, I seriously consider having a voluntary hysterectomy. There's always adoption if I ever change my mind about rearing demons...

On a side note, movie popcorn at Cinemark is vegan...and that's just as good as pizza and ice cream.