For the sake of this post, I'm going to define "problem" as: the thing that keeps me from being as confident in myself and my abilities as I should be. So, what has caused the problem?
My initial response was to say that my consistent and life-thus-far-long body issues are the problem. Then, of course, I blame my body instead of a mislead opinion of myself. Well, of I took better care of myself, I wouldn't have a lousy body to feel bad about.
I'm choosing instead to take the advice I would give someone else. The "problem" isn't me at all. It's the idea that most of society relies first on appearance and then on intelligence and personality. That's the real problem.
Another problem is that there's really no defeating that stigma. I dot care how many Susan O'Boyle-esque people grace us all with their stereotype-crushing presence..it's always going to be there. Because of that, I want to change my outsides to match the awesome, friendly, people-pleasing--yet with a strong will to challenge--entity that is my insides.
The sheer positivity of being vegan will, I expect, bring with it a healthful change or two. That will reflect on my body in terms of being thinner and just healthier in general. I've never been able to stick to any "diet" other than Weight Watchers. WW worked wonders for me, but my time with it has passed and I've gained back every pound I lost with it. Being vegan is more spiritual to me than it is dietary. I'll stick to this for the sake of my positive spirit that respects all forms of life.
There are several issues, though. My own wedding was a big motivator for me to get thinner. And it worked. But in the year that I've been married, I've gained 35 pounds back. Yuck. I think what I need to do is just figure out a solid something that will motivate me and keep it in mind at all times. One of my absolute dearest friends is getting married in August, and I'm one of her bridesmaids. Thin n e e d s to happen. I will not embarrass her or myself by allowing my body to stay the same.
But what about exercise? Ha. I can't ever get myself going. There's always an excuse. A friend and I have started Couch to 5K this week. We run it together three times a week. That's great, but it won't be enough. The weather is beautiful, so maybe simple sunshine will be inspiration enough to get out and move in it. Though, I know myself better than to think I want to do anything more than sit or picnic in the sun.
Oh, I don't know. I suppose I'll start by halting my rant and meeting up for a run.
Oh yea. I promised myself I'd include a photo. I wrote this from my iPod in the bathroom. So, I included the picture, but I'm not sure where it's going to end up. Either way, taking it reminded me to mention that Sean and u are going to Everything Natural tonight to look for safe, natural cleansing methods for our innards. Should be fun!
Kendra, I can really relate to this post. I've been feeling really down on myself lately and it's so, so frustrating. I've been finding myself getting angry every day when I'm trying to get ready because I don't look the way that I want to in my clothes. I don't want to feel that way. I don't want to be beating myself up anymore because of the way that I feel about my appearance. For so long I told myself that I didn't owe it to anyone to change my body. That I was comfortable in my curvy body and society needed to learn to accept that. But, like you, I've realized that society isn't going to change anytime soon and while I still wear these curvy hips proudly, I've realized that feeling good about myself starts right here at the source and if I don't like something it is completely in my power to change it. I know I'll never be super thin and I don't want to be that girl, I don't need to be her. I just want to feel healthier and confident in my body.
ReplyDeleteSo, I've decided to make a change and I started doing Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. For me, going to the gym has always been a problem. I don't like going to the gym. I feel intimidated there and in terms of actually exercising I don't even know where to begin besides walking on the treadmill, which I can do outside. The 30 Day Shred is really, really intense. It's a hard workout. But what I like about it is that you do it once a day for 20 minutes, for 30 straight days. I, too, have a hard time getting going no matter how much I tell myself I need to exercise or it's important to get into shape. Like I said, for so long I had no idea where to start so I just didn't do anything. This keeps me motivated because it's once every day and I refuse to allow myself to miss one day (OCD is kind of playing in, but hey.. at least it's to my advantage here) and I also know the routine so I know how I'm progressing through it and that it's only going to last another 10 minutes, another 5 minutes, etc. rather than aimlessly walking on a treadmill and wishing I could be done the whole time. I would suggest checking out the 30 Day Shred workout. LIke I said, it is a tough workout and maybe you won't be able to do the whole thing at first but I think it's helpful even to watch the tape and just do the moves you feel comfortable doing at your own pace until you feel confident enough to go at Jillian's pace and actually begin the shred.
You can watch Level 1 of the workout here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Pc-NizMgg8
Even though it's available online, I still ordered the DVD because it's cheap on Amazon and it's just easier to do it from the TV rather than the computer.
Another silly thing I do that actually really helps keep me motivated is keep a Fitness board on Pinterest. I don't know if you have Pinterest or not, but here is a link to my fitness board: http://pinterest.com/youandthemoon/fitness-motherfucker/
You can also just search fitness, workout, motivation, etc. on Pinterest and a whole bunch of good stuff comes up. Like I said, kind of silly, but if I ever don't feel motivated to do the shred I look through that board and it reminds me that I owe it to myself to keep doing this and so I just do it.
Anyways, I hope that I helped a little bit. Good luck in your weight loss journey :)
xo, Sarah
Also, (I don't know how I missed this, but I felt it was important to add in) congrats to you on becoming vegan! That is a hard and challenging step and it takes a hell of a lot of will power to do. It's awesome that you can make this moral, spiritual life change and it will only positively impact every other aspect of your life, including weight loss!
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